U.S. can name conflicts, but can it fight them?

To the editor: We've been once again saved by the government that brought you "Iraqi Freedom" and "Enduring Freedom." Boy, what would those Iraqis and Afghanis do without their Freedoms? ("Pentagon unveils name for ISIS battle: Operation Inherent Resolve," Oct. 15)

Now that the campaign against Islamic State has a name, it should be an easy downhill from here.

This naming stuff is something the government is really good at, although we're a bit less good at the doing. We all felt better when they showed us the way by the Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act (the good old USA Patriot Act).

Could a country so adept at naming things ever fail us? I'll bet if I spent the time perusing that tome, I'd find an authorization for a Government Official Naming Office (GONO), along with instructions for naming military operations.

Let's see: First, pick a resolutely vigorous, but appropriately vague, adjective from column A; second, choose an unquestionably virtuous noun from column B; third, combine the two to publicly proclaim that whatever we're doing sounds like God's work, but without the "God."